Leave your stories about anti-male sexism here

When this blog was launched it was without a central place to leave anti-male sexism stories, and a good number of personal stories are to be found here:

https://thealternativesexismproject.wordpress.com/2013/11/08/welcome/

It may be that you wish to comment on individual posts, please feel free to do so. But you may simply wish to share your experience(s) of anti-male sexist behaviour or comments, and we invite you to leave your stories here, by entering them in the ‘Leave a Reply’ box. You won’t need to leave either your real name or email address. We don’t want the site to have the whiny tone of The Everyday Sexism Project, we want to develop a resource showing that men and boys are disadvantaged – sometimes very severely – as a result of anti-male sexist behaviours and comments. We’re looking for personal stories from men (and women) about women (and men):

–          shaming men and/or boys

–          controlling men and/or boys

–          disadvantaging men and/or boys

–          advantaging women and/or girls

Obvious examples include the following, but there are countless others, both serious and low-level:

–          denial of access to children following relationship breakdowns, judges’ unwillingness to enforce contact orders

–          parental alienation of children

–          financial ruin as a consequence of divorce, even when the wife has contributed little or nothing to the couple’s joint wealth

–          police not believing male victims of domestic violence, taking the woman’s word for what happened

–          sexist narratives and statements in TV and radio programmes, in films, newspaper articles, websites and blogs…

–          sexist statements made by politicians, judges, business people

–          lenient sentencing by the judicial system of women convicted of serious crimes e.g. making false rape accusations

–          economic disadvantaging e.g. on first dates, even in expensive restaurants, women will either not offer to pay a share of the cost, or will make a cursory effort to appear willing to do so, e.g. reaching for the purse when the bill arrives. When the man says, ‘Thanks, but I’ll take care of it’, no woman has ever been known to protest, lest the man change his mind

–          lack of respect for men. On a crowded street even elderly men are routinely expected to give way to women, including young women

–          women (and many men) preferencing women when recruiting and/or promoting staff

–          women being preferenced for social housing and social services

–          when a woman has an unplanned pregnancy, she has the sole right to determine whether the foetus is aborted, the baby adopted, or the child raised at the man’s expense. The man has no rights and whatever responsibilities she chooses to give him

–          programmes aimed at diagnosing female-specific cancers are far better funded than those for male-specific cancers

–          men suffering from the physical and/or mental consequences of male circumcision

–          teachers (female and male) focusing more time and effort on boys than girls

–          teachers (female and male) punishing boys more harshly than girls after committing the same misdemeanours

–          if her car breaks down, or a tyre is punctured, a woman can expect a man to stop and help her. Woman never stop to help men in the same situation

–          women shamelessly barging in front of men in queues, expecting service in bars when they’ve only just arrived, and you’ve been waiting for some time

–          women-only gym and swimming sessions

–          in Labour and Lib Dem constituencies, women-only prospective parliamentary candidate shortlists

Thank you for your support.

45 thoughts on “Leave your stories about anti-male sexism here

  1. Adam says:

    You may want to use peer-reviewed meta-analysis in future. Some of the studies on this site are not particularly convincing. The following is a study on women on boards (neither beneficial nor detrimental). You will notice the difference in quality immediately.

    Quote:
    “…systematic literature search, data from 20 studies on 3097 companies published in peer-reviewed academic journals were included in the meta-analysis.”

    Link:

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4473005/

  2. Jgatz says:

    I have a male specific illness called chronic prostatitis, often referred to as chronic pelvic pain syndrome. When I initially came down with this illness I was neglected by doctors and told that I had nothing wrong with me, I was refused a referral to a specialist. When I eventually saw a specialist, he insisted nothing was wrong with me and told me that it would go away when I got a girlfriend (implying the symptoms were psychosomatic and a result of my anxieties about relationships). At this point (at the age of 21) I had been suffering for months with horrible pain and required diagnostic tests which I was refused. I was eventually offered them when I returned. Because of the pain I couldn’t attend my university classes and was thrown out of university. When I attempted to get evidence from my doctor he refused to give it me because I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with an illness, I told him that the pain had caused me to become very depressed but he refused to recognise I’d been suffering with depression saying I didn’t ‘look depressed’. When I took my mother with me for back up, she told him how I’d been suicidal, to which he callously replied ‘well would you blame me if he committed suicide???’ – as if he didn’t care. It took me nearly a full year to get a diagnosis and get back into university. I’ve now had this disease and have seen other specialists, most of which have treated me like a pest and a hypochondriac.

    The disease is a mystery to many doctors and is often referred to as a ‘wastebasket of clinical ignorance’. The go to drug for this disease is a dangerous antibiotic called ciprofloxacin which is now being flagged by the FDA in America for causing disability. The disease lacks funding and research, many men have it all their lives. It ruins young and old men’s lives alike, physically I’m a shadow of my former self because of it. When I asked my urologist why the disease is so neglected he said it didn’t have enough funding for research, when I asked him if he’d help me talk to my local MP about getting more funding to deal with the illness, he stared at me blankly. Many urologists don’t take the disease seriously because they mainly deal with prostate cancer, but moderate prostatitis will seriously affect a young man’s ability to have physical relations with his partner, it can mean he won’t be able to run or sit for long periods because of pain and it can seriously get in the way of both a man’s social life and his ability to work.

    This disease is serious and the men who get it are often treated badly by the medical system, doctors won’t look for a cause quickly enough – it took me two years to even get an ultrasound of my bladder and prostate! Often a cause can’t be found, at which point you’re left to get on with it alone. I’ve spoken to many prostatitis sufferers across the globe (mainly the UK, US and Canada) and all have been neglected to some degree by the medical system, and nearly all of them have been drastically let down.

    Any man can come down with this disease, you just have to be unlucky enough – so it’s in every man’s interests to deal with prostatitis. It needs research and attention, sufferers deserve help.

  3. Fienyx says:

    In 2009, I was diagnosed with MS. Shortly after my now ex-wife started to become distant. I didn’t know what was going on. I did everything to try to find out what the problem was. Shortly after that, she would start arguments for no real reason. Get home from shopping, she brings in our son, I, walking with a cane at the time, unload all the groceries (8 trips out to the car) and the put them away. Everythin except the soda, as I was physically worn out. She started yelling at me for not putting the soda in the fridge. Then it happened, the first seizure. For 2 years she sent me into seizures on a daily basis. I was afraid to be at home, but didn’t want to leave my child. She would literally leave me seizing on the floor in front of our son, then go to her computer and play games. My son knew where my meds were, and would get them for me, “Daddy feel better” She finally admitted to me, she was trying to get me mad enough to either leave on my own, or hit her so she could call the cops on me. That was the day I was kicked out. I lived out of my car for 3 months before I found a place to live. When I had tried to report her for abuse, the police just laughed and hung up. A year later, I had an apartment, had my son half the week. X-mas came along, money got tight. I went to a local organization that supposedly helps with a month of rent. A one off deal. The place was run by jaded, middle aged women. I explained my situation, and was quickly turned away, being told, “You’re a man, find a job. It doesn’t matter if you have a roof over your head, your child has his mother. It doesn’t matter if you get to see him at all.” As I was walking home, I bought a cigarette from some lady, who told me she hates that place. Her daughter and the daughters roommate go there every month, they both get assistance by using the same address, but pretend the house is split into apt a and apt b.

  4. Southpa says:

    A bizarre situation that taught me to never be a nice guy again.

    In the fall of 2012, I started a new job as an adjunct professor at a Middle East university. As I hate commuting, I chose university housing that is a 5 minute bike ride from campus. Early on, I met a woman who definitely had to hots for me, but just thought of this as puppy love and that she would get a clue when I showed no interest. As it turns out, I was also working with this woman in same unit in the university. As the semester got underway, I found that in addition to not finding this woman attractive in any way, that I share none of her professional work ethic, which was more about manipulating the system and getting out of as much work as possible. In short, I had nothing in common with this person. Despite my not showing even a shred of interest beyond being a platonic colleague, this woman would just not go away. Part of the problem was alcohol–and lots of it. My rule for myself is that I don’t drink unless on holiday, so I don’t have to worry about the expense, health issues, hangovers, etc.

    There were only a small number of faculty in this housing, so we would get together in the fall of 2012 to socialize. On the very first occasion, this woman offered me a beer, which I politely refused–as I did her several other attempts to get me to drink. Alcohol was/is so important to this person that not one conversation that I had with her in the early days of traveling from housing to get food or supplies did NOT include her referring to drinking. After a number of mixers where she and alcohol were present, I simply stopped going.

    In my department this women was liberally using my name so that I had 6 or 8 people tell that X is looking for you, or missed you, or is asking about you. Even my supervisor was acting like this woman and I had a relationship, which could not have been further from the truth. Through the fall of 2012, this woman continued to act in strange ways, as if I had somehow let her down, but I am sure that her drinking had a lot to do with this. Drinking to that level (& I mean a LOT!), means you lose your memory the next day. The last straw was when she followed me home from work. This was her home too, but it was the way she just ‘appeared’. Now, she was stalking me. I went to see my supervisor who didn’t seem clear that all of this woman’s behavior made me feel uncomfortable–like she was just being friendly or something. As it turns out, this supervisor never notified her supervisor–which is a big NO NO.

    Meanwhile, I felt trapped as I worked with and live in the same building as this lunatic. The only thing I felt like I could do was to avoid her, which is what I did in a very systematic way. This seemed to have no effect, but a couple of times I thought she had finally gotten the message and said ‘how are you’ to her like a normal person. Both times, she took this to mean that I was sexually interested and her strange behavior began anew. Had I known my supervisor had not spoken to my stalker, I would have gone to the head of the department and let him know that if the situation was not corrected–meaning stalker would start to act like a normal person–I was going to go to the provost.

    All in all, my supervisor and stalker had a lot in common–both over-weight, horny, and desperate. Both saw/see work as a social club and dating service. Both are alcoholics by any reasonable measure. Both see no problem with violating the personal and professional boundaries of men.

    Right now, I am headed for a new teaching position and will not hesitate to let any such ‘cougar’ who is one of my colleagues know that I feel uncomfortable with any behavior that crosses the line–women do this all the time, so it’s my right as well!

    Men have the right to go to work and not feel stalked by some crazed woman–it’s time this became the subject of organizational training and awareness.

    I can identify now with women who are fed up with lecherous (& usually very unattractive) men at work. To be around someone who is constantly focusing on sex, with no invitation to do so, is quite frankly disgusting.

    I gave up my rights to be politically correct—never, never again.

    Thanks, SP

  5. X says:

    assaulted at work by a female colleague who insinuated I was looking at her breasts, when I challenged her on this, asking why she had said this, she angrily asked me to go home, I emailed her, advising her I did not appreciate being kicked 3 times, and wondered where such hostility was coming from, I made it clear I did not appreciate being kicked and additionally advised her not to do it again, ( did not call her a bitch or swear)

    this was a very busy period at work in which I grew tired of the tone in which I was spoken to in by several women and some of their offhand remarks about me being gay, having more moods than a women( very stressful job, it can be), being crazy and them offering to pray for me, because I said the word jesus, in a general way( but am not religious)
    I made a few critical remarks for sure, but it was often through provocation and not a one way thing

    I was reprimanded by the senior manager for the, in her words “nasty email” I sent the colleague and wondered if she had actually read the email to begin with as the accusations that it was nasty were ludricous, it was a firm, I don’t appreciate you kicking me email

    what followed was an investigation so bizarre that at times I struggled to believe it, 3 staff that had previously indicated otherwise, seem to be doing a doubletake, but as with these investigations, someone got scapegoated, I protected the staff member who had assaulted me, because she was a woman with a child and did not take the matter further

    on a 2nd occassion, much later, I struck up a freindship with a married woman, who intiated a lot of flirtation and when I first realised, I had fallen in love with her, I began backing off, for this, she snapped at me( she hinted her husband was a workaholic, got in late etc)

    I went off sick for 2 months, went on anti depressants, lost a £1000, requested management, relocate me, but I could not get to the other place of work, I also asked to be timetabled so I did not have to work with her, making it easier, but it was not possible

    I felt raw and vulnerable, I was open with some staff, they all expressed concerns, and during this period, it was like it was open season on me, with a few other women, dumping remarks on me, all girls together type thinking

    things were tense between us, she eventually made a complaint that something I said,made her uncomfortable but neglected to mention all, her behaviour

    I was treated by the senior manager as though I had imagined all this and she seem to automatically not want to dwell on everything the other party had said and done

    the senior manager denied me union representation

    and then forcified my statement to the point, it barely resembled what I had said,to the point that the manager privately admitted to me, that he had challenged her on misinterpeting everything I said and she, essentially told him, this was how it was

    I refused to sign it, made several notes and said I may get the union involved, bringing up the issue of both sexism and fraud

    I wonder if all this had concerned a woman whether the treatment, would have been the same

  6. Eduardo says:

    Happened this to me a couple of days ago.

    Got a job, where I had to be trained. My trainer was a young woman, in her 20’s. She was completely stressful, stating that how she did the job was the ONLY right way, and that I should not follow any external advice of any other colleagues, because she was my trainer, and she had the right word no matter what.

    She told me her way to do the things, and if I ever slept even a SINGLE WORD out of the sample pitch, she would get and tell me everything I was wrong with. She didn’t leave me alone, and even though I was a trainee, every minute she went up to me to always tell me to keep working. EVEN WHEN SHE DID NOT WORKED AT ALL. There were times where I decided to pace down the work, because of the flow, and she, again, not even leaving me a MINUTE to pace down, went and told me to keep the pace. WHEN SHE WAS DOING NOTHING.

    It was terribly stressful, because the work was about engaging with people, and I’ve studied Social Dynamics, Social Psychology and Relationships for a couple of years, so I knew more than her. But, because she was the “competent” authority, she was the only one who was right.

    I quit the job.

  7. I would like to make a few comments about sexism something I find rather upsetting, distasteful and unacceptable for anyone to have to endure. Firstly I have worked in many environments where I personalty have had to endure sexist attitudes, comments and even physical assaults from other so called people. This has on many occasions come from supposedly educated people. I have been expected to perform certain tasks purely based on my gender. If that’s not sexist I don’t know what is. I have been sexually assaulted by people of the opposite gender on more than one occasion and have actually been groped by my private parts! No one seemed to care how this made me feel or take the incidents seriously. This sort of behavior has happened in work as well as in the public places. One evening someone actually assumed it was okay to walked up behind me in the street and pinch my bottom. Trust me when some over eating slob dose this to you it’s not nice. I felt physical sick afterwards. When I challenged the behavior I got a torrent of verbal abuse. I have also had people try and kiss me and other inappropriate behaviors on more that one occasion while at work. Not only is sexism a sign of ignorance it is also deeply rooted in institutions through out the country. I have been mocked for my gender and ridiculed by people of the opposite sex without regards to my feeling or emotions countless times but apparently that’s acceptable in our society because of my gender. I have sat back and watched as people of my gender have been discriminated against by government policy, legal bias and social normalization. All this simply for our gender and some small minded collectives misconceptions of right and wrong. I have had friends that were victims of armed physical assault by there spouse and ended up getting arrested for defending themselves. It really shouldn’t matter if you got a penis or vagina considering we are all supposed to be human beings with the same basic needs. I am a proud heterosexual man. Sexism is like racism and clearly works both ways. I will not be emasculated by anyone of the opposite sex and nor should you.

    If you don’t believe what I’m saying is true there would be no need for organizations like:

    http://www.fathers-4-justice.org/

    Read some of the very frightening statistics here:

    http://www.realsexism.com/

    I have also taken the time to email my experiences to this website:

    http://everydaysexism.com/

    Wonder if it will be posted on the website or will sexism against men simply be brushed under the carpet? I guess time will tell.

    The injustice is well documented just do a Google search to find out for yourselves.

    Charles Persinger

  8. leo locum says:

    I am curious about anyone’s thoughts on this initiative to have female quotas on boards. I believe they tried/do this in France and Norway where there is a minimum percentage required to have women ‘represented’ on boards…and in Canada, they are proposing that listed companies must have women on boards. It makes no sense to me…what is this, elementary school pick-up sports where you have to have a girl on your team?! Here’s the story: http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/women-on-boards-7-provinces-sign-on-for-new-osc-disclosure-rules-1.2799604

  9. Emma says:

    You write: ‘Their belief in misogyny is a projection of their own misandry, of course.) Not one of these women – who are always remarkable for how little they’ve achieved in life – has ever had ANY personal experience of senior levels of business, unlike myself. I wrote a book about the whole area, ‘The Glass Ceiling Delusion’’

    Very proud of yourself aren’t you? How can you be sure that your belief in misandry isn’t just a projection of your own misogyny? I clicked onto your website and was initially very happy with what I read. However, the more I read the more I realised that most of your posts are written in such a way as to show how ‘smart’ and ‘clever’ you are. The ‘awards’ that you hand out to women you dislike in the public sphere amount to nothing more than bullying – you contact a woman saying you want a retraction from her and then try to humiliate her when she does not do what you want. How very enlightened of you (!) Will you be ‘man enough’ to publish my post? Or will you decide to bully me too?

    • Emma, thank you for commenting. I’m delighted to publish your comments – as you’d expect if you’d bothered to read my piece concerning Emily Jarman’s comments – and I have a question for you in turn.

      How is politely asking women – Caroline Criado-Perez, Julie Bindel, Laurie Penny, Kat Banyard, and others – to retract demonstrably false assertions ‘bullying’? Or are women not to be held accountable for their actions and inactions, rather like very young children? That’s certainly how the justice system treats women.

      • Emma says:

        It is one thing to ‘politely’ ask a woman to retract a statement which you deem to be false, but quite another to then give the woman such an ‘award’ as you have done. Women, and men, must be held accountable. However, you do nothing for your cause when you then publish such ‘awards’ depicting the women in the way you have. All it does is show a certain juvenile attitude of ‘agree with what I say or I will make fun of you’ – especially when you then seem to congratulate yourself on how clever you are for doing so. Surely this sort of behaviour should have been left behind in the playground? I agree that the British justice system is too lenient on female criminals (I have just completed a research project on this at Cambridge), but I’m saddened by how you don’t seem to realise that by creating such ‘awards’ and depicting women in this way, you are merely exhibiting your own misogyny. Surely it would be better to state why you believe these women are wrong using reasoned arguments, and letting your arguments speak for themselves, without resorting to such immature behaviour?

        • rob says:

          i would be interested to read the research project you have just completed at Cambridge
          do you have a link please?

          BTW I would suggest that you don’t bother posting on the internet on this or any subject unless you can grow a thick skin. No gender has ever been innocent of mudslinging onto others( look at our politicians). You could try apply the same reasoning onto a womens right website ( play devils adovocate) and see what response you get. Then perhaps you can understand why there is so much heat and anger revolving around the gender issue.
          wish you all the best

    • Emma, along with Laura Bates and Caroline Criado-Perez you’re the gift that keeps on giving, and I can but hope that Anne Dempsey of Men’s Rights Ireland http://mensrightsireland.wordpress.com presents you with a thoroughly well-deserved ‘Stupid Woman of the Month’ award. You’ve already put in an impressive bid. You thought of me in connection with bullying after the email I sent you, you say. Have you spotted I haven’t divulged your email address? Wouldn’t a bully have divulged that, Ms H? For those who might be interested, herewith the content of the ‘bullying’ email I sent you this morning:

      “Emma, good morning. I hope you’ll be good enough to submit more priceless comments on the theme that expecting women to act like adults – to apologise for making false allegations, and to retract them – amounts to bullying.

      Have a nice day.”

      I guess we have different definitions of bullying.

    • Emma, I am sorry but I really think you’re off the mark here. The awards are just humorous. Nothing to get so wound up about. unless you’re touchy, for some reason. But above all, your accusations to Mike of being aggressive, self-professed smart….sounds complete garbage to me, sorry. I think Mike has given plenty of demonstrations of selfless and humble dedication to this cause. I suspect you may only know the tip of the iceberg.
      I think you may have issues and am starting to think you might just have been sent by some of Mike’s targets to spam this otherwise great thread. I don’t even think your real name is Emma, there! well, anyway, best of luck to you.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I am so relieved to have found this. I was beginning to think I was the only guy who could see we live in an increasingly man-bashing culture where men are rapidly becoming second class citizens and being to made to feel ashamed of their masculinity. I have so many experiences of sexism I could write pages! My worst experiences have been working in female dominated offices – a complete nightmare. They would slag men off all day and even say to my face women can do the job better than you because they can multi-task. ‘Typical man’ is a phrase I would hear almost daily – to be honest I could go on and on! I would never want to to work in such an intimidating and sexist enviroment again.

    • Thanks for this. On http://j4mb.org.uk a few months ago we published the results of a poll in the United States – run by Gallup, from memory – which showed that where they showed a preference for a boss of one gender over another, both men and women preferred a male boss. And as they’ve always found in the past, even more women that men prefer a male boss. So it’s only men and women who have problems with female bosses – everyone else things they’re GREAT!

    • Rather than compete with men on a level playing field, as men happily do, women denigrate men in order to boost their self-esteem – how UTTERLY pathetic is that? And of course it happens daily in both the personal sphere and the work environment. Women also show shameless same-group preference which men don’t, despite the baseless feminist ‘glass ceiling’ conspiracy theory. From time to time I encounter feminists who are convinced of the existence of the ‘glass ceiling’. (Their belief in misogyny is a projection of their own misandry, of course.) Not one of these women – who are always remarkable for how little they’ve achieved in life – has ever had ANY personal experience of senior levels of business, unlike myself. I wrote a book about the whole area, ‘The Glass Ceiling Delusion’.

  11. A telling incident yesterday – had an ambulance crew over to pick up my very disabled father. Four got him from floor to chair and then two of them left (they were students or something) leaving it to the other two – a man and woman. They were trying to transfer him from his chair to the ambulance chair. On lifting him the woman announced that it was not possible – so the man ended up lifting my father on his own (undoubtedly against all health and safety regulations – good to know people break them). I thanked him and he said he knew he wasn’t supposed to and he was seeing a physio or surgeon about some bulging discs. So it appears that he is suffering physically as a result of having to accommodate a female ambulance worker.

  12. vadark says:

    I love your blogs, Mike, there is just so much true-to-life representation contained within and I feel encouraged that other men (and women) are contacting you with their observations and concerns about feminised society as we know it today. I’m glad i’m not the only one out there noticing these double-standards. Men really are viewed as second-class citizens. Only the other day there was an accident in the workplace. It was an accident that occured outdoors; an incident which involved a vehicle and an on-site, working female who got injured by that vehicle. Fortunately, the incident wasn’t fatal but the woman did suffer some fairly significant injuries which has rendered her bedridden for a few weeks. Now, I don’t know what you make of this but this is what I overheard another female colleague say when she heard the news (none of the listening audience – consisting of men and women – reacted in any way shape or form to what she said). This is what I heard her say: “Oh my God, that is so terrible, I can’t believe it, I hope she’ll be ok, how awful – and especially happening to a female as well”.

    I know that doesn’t sound like much but there is just so much more meaning that sits behind that little statement. People’s perception of men and women has been severely manipulated and conditioned via a continual bombardment of feministic viewpoints, often carried by the media and it’s so deeply entrenched that it has affected the way everyday people think. A woman who I thought was ok has somehow managed to successfully perpetuate the notion that women are more important and valuable than men. Whether she said what she said knowingly, or unknowingly, I shall never know. Perhaps the rest of the people who overheard the statement have subconciously bought into the idea that woman = valuable, men = expendable. Or maybe they’re thinking along the same lines as me and just can’t say anything. Who knows!

  13. John D says:

    My ex-fiancee was one of those hysterical women who kept me up till 4/5am arguing over I never knew what, after 13-15 hour shifts. I was often physically exhausted and why I stayed is still a mystery to me, I suppose I felt I loved her. On one of those occasions she ended up locking me in the house (the downstairs only had ‘slat’ windows). She hid all the keys including my car keys and also my iPad and laptop under the sofa so I couldn’t leave (I needed them for college as I’m doing a part-time degree). She tried everything to keep me from leaving, including beating me, pretending to faint (I walked over her because I knew it was an act) and then, more shockingly, by waving a butcher knife in my face in the kitchen – forcing me to call the police.

    I remember at the time thinking, “Jesus, she’s going to stab me, and there’s nothing I can do about it!” – even though I knew I could physically stop her – I had a choice between jail or death. Once I had the cops on the phone I knew she’d think twice and looking back I think it saved my life. The real shock is that I actually got back together with her after that (I know, I know, ‘idiot’ doesn’t begin to describe it, but it does give me a fairly unique perspective). I found that while the police at the time of the incident questioned both her and I regarding what had happened, they never called, wrote, or conducted a follow-up with me – never, not once. Yet she received numerous phone calls, the social services called to her house to see if she was emotionally OK, the police officers involved wrote letters to her and gave her advice and numbers for victim helplines. It shocked me how supportive and even incessent they were. I remember at the time of the incident the officer took a statement and asked me “if I felt I my life was in danger” – I said No because I wanted to protect HER, looking back now that was utterly stupid of me, as some other poor soul might end up paying with his life, but at the time I was a mess and it seems like they couldn’t have cared less.

    She tried of course to turn it all around and make it my fault and it wasn’t long before I could see things headed the same way again. Suffice it to say my response – to her consternation – was to slowly try and move my most valuable things out without her noticing and then leave while she was out. I’ve no doubt she hated me for leaving nothing more than a text message, but then I lost everything I owned and I had nowhere to live as I’d moved in with her and was paying HER mortgage. Now months later I remind myself that I was the victim not her, no matter what anyone else thinks. Unlike a woman I don’t seek reparation or to charge her for my emotional suffering or the loss of my possessions (even the police couldn’t get back more than a pile of my clothes in the first incident). I’ve moved on, grateful to be rid of her and frankly afraid to come forward again in case she decides to punish my family or myself, or make our lives hell.

    So I agree wholeheartedly. Enough is enough. It’s time as Men we stopped taking this kind of abuse from women, and time the law reflected that. Standing up isn’t cowardly or chauvinist, it’s brave, and we need more men like yourself, Mike, to do that. So from one “ex-soldier”, thank you.

  14. Chris says:

    My boss recently told me that he feels women should have priority when it comes to having time off work for Xmas and other family-oriented holidays, because women will be more emotionally affected than men if they don’t get time off for such special family events.

    I happen to think this is sexist towards both genders.

    • ‘More emotionally affected’? Give me strength. It’s the same old conflicting narratives again, isn’t it?

      ‘We’re women, we’re strong, we’re as hardworking as men, we deserve to get 50% of the top jobs!’

      ‘We’re women, we’ll be more emotionally affected than men if we don’t get time off for special family events!’

      • RyanGreeves86 says:

        I think you’ll find that the person who said women are most emotionally affected than men was a MAN – so where was the conflicting narrative from a woman?

  15. Nwestman says:

    Also, in quite a few cities you will find women’s organisations that build centres for women only. Essentially we have apartheid in terms of training and networking. Can I suggest that readers list out their own? We have one in Liverpool, and boy are they not scared to fly the flag essentially saying ‘men out’.

  16. Nwestman says:

    I went to see my MP about her construction of the equalities Bill 2010 (essentially making it legal to give someone a job based on gender (all other things being equal and there being an imbalance of the genders at that level). After a brief, courteous exchange, she decided to get up and open the door to ‘ask me to leave’. I did. I had said: “I’m not responsible for the sins of my father’s bosses….” when she pointed out the view that women had suffered historically.
    It’s incredible to think that she wasn’t happy to justify it. And why would a Labour MP wish to disadvantage males who are looking for work (I have yet to hear that there are any examples of men being favoured by this legislation).

    • Thanks Nwestman. The Equalities Bill (2010) was written under the direction of feminist Labour MPs, and the bill was enacted soon after Cameron came to power. This was 100% in line with his pro-feminist views, and soon afterwards he appointed the LABOUR peer Lord Davies of Abersoch to write a report on how to increase female representation on corporate boards. His final report (2011) was so feminist-inspired I doubt even Harriet Harman would have quibbled with one sentence.

      Last year I gave evidence to a House of Commons inquiry, ‘Women in the Workplace’:

      I pointed out that four in seven unemployed people in the UK are men – 1.44m v 1.08m. A Labour MP, Ann McKechin, shrugged her shoulders and said, ‘It’s long been like that’. Sadly it didn’t occur to me to utter the obvious retort, ‘Well, why isn’t there a “Men in the Workplace” inquiry, then?’

  17. Darryl X says:

    I had spinal surgery eight years ago. Discectomy and fusion at c6-c7 (ruptured disc resulting from a car accident that my ex caused). I was under the knife for almost four hours. The surgeon had to harvest bone from my hip for the fusion of c6 and c7 vertebrae after removing the disc. Then I had a titanium plate put in to bridge the two vertebrae. In her petition for divorce one year later, my ex accused me of beating her one week after the surgery. No kidding. I could barely stand without a cane yet because of the pain and instability caused by the bone core the surgeon took from my hip (it’s very painful to stand after that because of the weight the hip supports – the most painful part of the surgery is the area of the hip from which the surgeon harvested the bone). I was in a neck brace too and had little to no use of my left arm and hand yet because of damage to the peripheral nerves and their root and because of the muscle atrophy it caused prior to the surgery. If I was standing, I had to use a cane, holding it in my right hand. But my ex still accused me of abusing her and everyone believed her. The truth is that she was abusing me. You can’t imagine how terrified I was being in that vulnerable condition with that lunatic around. That I recovered without incident is amazing. It seems to be a common problem among psychopaths to predate upon others they regard as weak. Other men have related to me similar experiences. Woman accuses her wheelchair-bound husband of beating her. That kind of thing. It seems to be common. A man accused of physically abusing a woman when it just couldn’t happen and likely it was the other way around.

    • Chris says:

      My heart completely goes out to you.

    • Darryl, that’s must have been a tough story to relate, so thank you.

      I recently attended the National Conference for Male Victims of Domestic Violence. One of the people who gave a presentation was a guy called Ian McNicoll, who was severely physically injured in an attack by his female partner, wielding a hammer. He was later registered disabled. Not long into his presentation, there was barely a dry eye in the large lecture room, filled with a capacity audience. Our tribute to this fine man:

      http://j4mb.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/ian-mcnicoll-we-salute-you/

      We also did a post on the estranged wife of Eddie Kidd, a former motorbike stunt rider. She admitted to assaulting him, although he was paralysed and brain-damaged:

      http://j4mb.wordpress.com/2013/07/05/estranged-wife-admits-assault-of-eddie-kidd-paralysed-and-brain-damaged-former-motorbike-stunt-rider/

      One of the (female) researchers who presented evidence at the Conference made the point that women seem less capable than men of walking away from situations where their inclination to inflict serious injuries on intimate partners is getting the better of them.

      Feminists frequently assert that when women assault men, it’s in self-defence. The same researcher pointed to a major study in which women reported why they’d attacked intimate partners. Only 4% of their attacks had been in self-defence.

  18. mark says:

    When I was in school (New Zealand) I found that boys would get into more trouble then girls. One story goes like this

    I was sitting in class talking with friends rather then doing work, the teacher (female) scolded us and wrote our names on the board warning that we would get in trouble. I then settled down and continued to do my work and was quiet. At this time the females all around me were talking to each other and not doing work.

    The teacher then stated “Mark, I can hear you talking” and put a cross next to my name. I objected but she continued to state that I was talking. The girls behind me found this hilariously funny and began throwing things at me in effort to get me to be loud. I didn’t, I kept my head down, and continued to work.

    The teacher for a third time said “Mark, that’s it, too much talking, I am sending you out with a yellow slip.” I protested and stated that I hadn’t said anything. The girls behind me were cackling like hyenas at this point as they realised that I was innocent. The teacher continued to ignore me. I at that point realised that there were no girls’ names written on the board even though they were doing the majority of the talking. I pointed this out to the teacher but she continued filling out her detention form.

    I was then understandably very frustrated and angry I muttered “Sexist Bitch” under my breath to a volume that she could hear. She added it to the form and sent me out of class

    The next day a dean came to me and told me I was being stood down for verbal abuse, I was a good student who had never done anything like this before but they still felt it right to stand me down.

    I had to go into school and plead with the principal to let me back in, I apologized for my language but also explained why I was frustrated.

    His response was “Often teachers go after the ring leaders to help settle the classroom down” he smugly smiled as if I was put in my place.

    I know calling the teacher a name was wrong, but the ring leaders in this case were girls and the boys were the ones punished for the crime.

    This story is the tip of the iceberg about how I felt discriminated against in a New Zealand education system

    The plus side is that now I am a teacher myself, and am hoping to make a positive difference through my teaching

  19. Darryl X says:

    From the US…

    1/32 Feminism is the primary mechanism by which children are denied their fathers, working men are enslaved, responsible men are impoverished, innocent men are imprisoned, infirm men are denied health care, potential scholars are denied educations, persecuted men are denied passports and free men are killed

    2/32 States, family courts and their officers, representatives of the Divorce Industry, case workers for Child Protective Services, Guardians ad Litem, special interest groups, feminists and others encourage mothers and other women to make false allegations of domestic violence, rape and child abuse against innocent men

    3/32 During the past forty-six years, these false allegations have been used to separate forcibly more than forty-million children from more than twenty-five-million fathers

    4/32 During the past forty-six years, more than one-third of adult women in the US have defrauded criminally an innocent man using divorce and child support but during the forty-six years prior almost no men divorced their wives or collected child support from them

    5/32 After fathers and children have been separated, states award custody to mothers, order fathers to pay child support exceeding cost of raising children by many multiples and that which fathers should pay by many multiples more and then exchange the child support and federal subsidies attached to laws like VAWA and Title IX with mothers, other women and feminists for votes and absolute power

    6/32 Feminists use absolute power and lie that they have greater need for health care even though science and facts show otherwise (ie more women die and die earlier than men of cardiovascular disease and more women are victims of domestic violence than men even though more men die earlier of cardiovascular disease and more men are victims of domestic violence)

    7/32 With those lies, women and feminists coerce legislators to appropriate more financial resources to their life-style choices, giving them more access to health care at the preclusion of access for men to much needed health care resources

    8/32 Legislators oblige women and feminists with budgets for health care which exceed that of men by many multiples, stealing funds from men to pay for it and precluding men from access to needed health care

    9/32 As a result of this dynamic, women live more than six years longer than men and have higher standards of living

    10/32 The US incarcerates more men per capita than any other country in the history of the world except for Nazi Germany and Stalinist Russia, women represent less than five-percent of inmates and women receive much shorter sentences for the same crimes

    11/32 Women are responsible for most domestic violence and child abuse and many other crimes but receive shorter sentences for the same crimes if they are sentenced at all

    12/32 Many innocent men are in prison because they were accused falsely by women of crimes like rape and domestic violence and initiatives like the Innocence Project have exonerated more than three-hundred men after an average of thirteen years in prison

    13/32 More than fifty-thousand men are in prison because they can’t afford to comply with orders for excessive child support and ten-percent have never fathered a child

    14/32 During the past ten years, mothers of ten-percent of children do not know who the fathers are but identify him correctly on a birth certificate, mothers of ten-percent of children do not know who the fathers are and don’t identify him correctly on the birth certificate and mothers of fifteen-percent of children don’t even identify a father on the birth certificate

    15/32 In direct response to false allegations of domestic violence, child abuse and rape, imposition and oppression by family courts and agencies of child support enforcement, impoverishment and enslavement, denial of passports with which to escape their persecutors and denial of public assistance, more than 250,000 fathers have committed suicide in the US during the past forty-five years

    16/32 An additional 850,000 men have committed suicide and many of these instances likely concern persecution too or false allegations but reasons are undocumented

    17/32 Almost none of these men suffer any chronic mental illness but were denied any benefits of living in society and suicide was their best if not only choice

    18/32 Incidence of suicide among women is approximately one-quarter that among men and almost no instances have been in response to divorce, child support, family law or persecution by the government

    19/32 In fact, imposition of family law, child support and the government upon women in any way throughout history of the US has never even come close to present imposition upon men, including imprisonment, suspension of passports and driver licenses, and denial of public assistance

    20/32 Because of child support and Title IX and other developments denying due process rights, men have no incentive to pursue and are precluded from educations and the ratio of men to women at university presently approximates 2:3

    21/32 Approximately ten-percent of children in public schools are prescribed drugs like methylphenidate for treatment of ADHD even though they suffer no mental illness but are just bullied by their mothers and the government

    22/32 More than two-thirds of these children are boys and governments and the pharmaceutical industry pay mothers and teachers (almost all women) for referring these children to therapists who prescribe the drugs

    23/32 Also because they don’t live as long and owe child support they can’t possibly pay, men do not benefit from programs concerning public assistance to which they contributed disproportionately more than women and feminists

    24/32 Approximately 95% of homeless are men and more than 50% of those in poverty are men

    25/32 Adjusted for hazard, hours worked, tenure, education, child support, taxes and many other variables, men are paid considerably less than women

    26/32 Women are paid more and consume approximately eighty-five-percent (85%) of resources as concluded by many marketing and government studies (ie Bureau of Labor Statistics) and men are sent to die in endless wars to satisfy that excessive consumption

    27/32 The government wants women fighting in combat because it knows they can be more easily manipulated than men to kill their own citizens and even men in their own ranks (just look at how good the government has been at destroying families and fathers and children by paying mothers, other women and feminists to do it)

    28/32 Men don’t live as long, are imprisoned at alarming incidence, are denied educations to improve themselves, die prematurely and are denied their right to due process so women and feminists comprise a growing majority of the population and electorate and vote themselves more entitlements with no responsibility and at the further expense of men and children

    29/32 The feminist police state metastasizes, our political, legal, social and financial infrastructure falls apart, and the economy collapses but to create the illusion of recovery, the feminist police state promotes and executes the involuntary sacrifice of men and the transfer of their wealth to women and feminists

    30/32 As further evidence of its malignant narcissism, the feminist police state denies a growing number of men passports with which to escape their persecutors so that it can enslave them

    31/32 Women have always been the most privileged demographic in the US and have never been oppressed but now they create and exploit misandrous laws, enslaving men to their solipsism, chronic victimhood, lies and malignant narcissism

    32/32 Feminism is a hate movement which can be stopped only by force including repeal of the Nineteenth Amendment

  20. Joel says:

    Hi,

    When I was employed as a soil conservationist in the States I was struck repeatedly by a female co-worker when I reached to turn down the volume knob on the truck radio. Even though she had been verbally abusive, and even admitted to having assaulted me, she faced no consequences. I was told that I must have provoked her, because women don’t do things like that unless provoked by a man.

    • Joel, thank you. For decades feminists have claimed that when women attack men it must be in response to provocation, or it’s in self-defence. This claim has been unchallenged in the mass media, so most people now believe it. The truth is of course very different, as we see with domestic violence (DV).

      300+ studies show that women are at least as physically aggressive as men towards their intimate partners. At the recent Conference for Male Victims of Domestic Violence, a female academic pointed to research which showed:

      – in the case of uni-directional DV (a partner doesn’t respond by using physical force) 70% of perpetrators are women
      – when asked why they attacked their partners only 4% of female perpetrators said it was in self-defence.

      Many men don’t even recognise being attacked by their partners as DV, they see it as ‘the wife/girlfriend getting upset’. This may partly explain why men are far less likely than women to report being the victims of DV.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: